Here on feelSAFEfollowBLISS.wordpress.com, you’ll find encouragement, insights, processes, resources, and inspiration to help you feel safe and follow your bliss. I’ll be sharing some that helped me, and I hope you’ll share some of yours.
Q: What’s the connection between feeling safe and following my bliss?
A: If you’re going to follow your bliss, you need vision, focus, clarity, enthusiasm and vitality, which in turn rest on feeling deeply safe, having the confidence and conviction that you can cope and handle whatever you encounter on your path of bliss. (I think heroes who follow their path of bliss even unto death have a deep security that something transcendent about them “survives” even when their physical bodies don’t survive, but that is a deep subject perhaps for another day.)
Deep fear, not the fear that inspires courage, but deep overwhelming terror, causes alarm, panic, confused “running around like a chicken with its head cut off”, and ultimately resignation and collapse. The very opposite of the clarity, vision, and vitality that move me to follow my bliss.
So, to truly follow your bliss, you need to feel DEEP SECURITY
Q: But what if I don’t feel unsafe: I just feel nervous, anxious, tired, depressed, confused, overwhelmed?
A: Feeling nervous, anxious, tired, depressed, confused, or overwhelmed can all be responses to fear. They can be secondary responses to a primary threat. They can be triggered by small concerns in the present, and they can be triggered by deep insecurity and a super-sensitive alarm system set in place by overwhelming experiences, traumas, long ago.
If you know you have a trauma history and have addressed it, this already makes sense. You know it from your own experience and it is a part of how you understand and manage your life experiences today.
But there is another group of people, myself among them, who haven’t experienced overt material traumas yet find ourselves with both the hair-trigger alarms and the strong emotional and physiological responses that go along with life after trauma.
Many of us, myself included, have a kind of post-traumatic sensitivity because we experienced very subtle traumas– so subtle we might not have even thought of them as traumas. Being tickled and jollied when we were already overstimulated. Being separated from a beloved caregiver.. Getting a blank face looking back at us when we were smiling and wanting to connect. “Come ON!” someone might say, “Those little things aren’t traumas.”
Certainly if they happened to grownups they wouldn’t be traumatic.
But because human babies die if they aren’t taken care of, a threat to that caretaking relationship reads to a human baby as a death threat. And death threat spells T.R.A.U.M.A.
I call these little things Chronic Covert Traumas (CCT) to your childhood attachment relationships. Unhealed Chronic Covert Traumas to your childhood relationships can undermine your deep security in the present and create instead deep insecurity and an extremely sensitive alarm system (some would say “over-reactive alarm system). This deep insecurity and sensitive alarm system in turn can trigger anxiety, nervousness, learned hopelessness and fatigue that make it almost impossible to feel the call of your bliss, let alone follow your bliss.
If you think there’s a chance this might apply to you, please please please go to the companion site ChronicCovertTrauma.wordpress.com and check it out. That site will help when you need more than inspiration and motivation to get back on your path of bliss.